Tuesday, April 17, 2007

And the sign was shown...

Yesterday I had a dream...

There was I, stood alone on the side of the cliff. I can’t see the end below of me. I stood there long. Waiting for the breeze to help toppled me over. But it never came. I have never braved myself to step over cliff. I have already known what to happen. Am I so afraid as to dare myself to go over the cliff? Or am I stupid to even think about it. Even so, I still stood there, my legs are already screaming for rest. My eyes closed by themselves several times. But my brain refuses to shut down. I have always been a dreamer. I dream for things that may never happen to me. I dream for things that never to be real. I dream for the impossible. But today, the cliff which I am standing seems so real. The air that I inhaled was heavy. The sound of water slamming through the rocks down below wee faintly heard. It is real. I am standing at the edge of the cliff. As I looked around me I saw nothing. Not even a spark of life. I felt alone for a moment.

I am still looking around, and then I saw these goats. Yes, goats, with 2 horns, 4 legs and a stench far terrible than 4 days without contact with water. I saw them. The whole herd of them. They came from nowhere and start to graze around me. I looked at them carefully. As the time passed by, I thought of something. Something that sounds crazy. I want to be them. I want to be those grazing herd of goats. I want to belong somewhere. I start to chew on those grass, I felt terrible. So I stopped. Those herds start to communicate with each other. I mimicked them. But I received no response. I sit next to them. But then they leave me. Then I just realized. I cant never be them. And thus I leave. I went back to the edge of the cliff. Gazing downwards, looking at the never ending drop.

I am as I was before.

As I gathered my courage to make the jumped, suddenly my eye caught something. I looked carefully and I saw a tree. A big tree with a lot of branches. The leaves were pure green and the trunk was big and strong. I start to walk towards it. As I got closed then I just realize something. There was an old man sleeping in the shade of the tree. He was snoring quite loudly and sometimes murmuring something uncomprehandable. I gazed at the tree above me; it was large, much larger than what I first thought it would be. Suddenly a fruit from the tree dropped on me. Hurt me a little, but worth the reward for me. The fruit looked like an apple. Bright red in color. As I start my motion to eat the fruit, the old man woke up. Scolded me and he took the apple from me. He told me that it was not mine and it was his. I started to argue but I felt too tired. It was just an apple.

And I moved back to the edge of the cliff. Wanting more than ever to jump into it. And so I closed my eyes... by the count of 3, I shall jump...

And I started to count...

1...

2...

3...